Our Nola

I have very close family ties to Mississippi and Louisiana. Hurricane Katrina definitely left a mark on my family and impacted thousands of others. The Gulf Coast is still reeling from the disaster and with the tenacious spirit of it's inhabitants, the area will be born again. But there is still much recovery to do. Last year, one of my favorite shows, Studio 60, (now cancelled) did an amazing Christmas episode. It was probably one of the better holiday shows I have ever seen. And although I may be a little biased, the music from that episode will stay with me forever. Unfortunately, the clip from the show is no longer available on NBC. The episode featured musical performances by New Orleans musicians displaced after the hurricane. The musicians were led by Troy "Trombone Shorty" Andrews in an original arrangement of "O Holy Night". The song is amazing, stunning, beautiful and haunting all at the same time. It is sure to leave you with chills or at the very least an overwhelming sense of peace. The musical arrangement was assembled with the help of the Tipitina's Foundation, an organization dedicated to restoring Louisiana's irreplaceable music community and preserve the state's unique musical culture. Another one of our favorite sites is Save Nola. (NOLA, the abbreviation for New Orleans, LA) Several evacuees, in a attempt to rebuild their city by raising funds to build homes founded the sportswear line. The items are created, made and promoted by a group of native New Orleanians who lost their homes and personal possessions. 100% of the net proceeds will go to organizations dedicated to building, rebuilding or “greening” homes in New Orleans. The New Orleans affiliate of Habitat for Humanity is one such program. Save Nola is proud to support their unprecedented effort to build homes and restore our beloved city. Additionally, Global Green is working to create a safer, sustainable environment for the city’s future. The line of merchandise is great. We have t-shirts, baseball caps, and a tote which are rotated weekly in our wardrobe, they are staples really. Together, we will save Nola.

And that leads me to our daughter. We are giving Mattine the middle name of Nola. Although, it is a city she has never visited it is a place she will learn to know and love- the food, the culture, the family ties. She already has an incredible spirit and has overcome so much. The future awaits her and with the help and love of family, friends and strangers alike she will continue to grow and blossom. The name just seemed fitting. Except it is our "Nola Girl" who is saving us!

ONE step closer to Mattine!

Fed-ex is my new best friend. Our I-600 reached it's final destination today in Vietnam. Big sigh of relief. The ball is officially in play. From here we wait anywhere from 30-60 days for US Immigration to review our daughter's file and make a determination. We are confident she will be granted a Visa. I feel like there is no sense in worrying about her being denied. It is the furthered thought from my mind currently probably because I just can't wrap my arms around the concept although I know it is a faint possibility. I am trying to be optimistic that the process will roll along even though there are a host of concrete variables- Christmas, New Year's and Tet.

All I am asking for Christmas is pictures of the little munchkin. It has been two months since we have received photo's and I can't imagine how much she has changed. Those are the changes that parents document and record. Those are some of the stories that are shared with the child when they get older. It's her life and I feel like each day that passes we miss so much. She misses so much. So, I am hopeful we will have a special delivery for the holidays.

It is still so warm here. Normally by now we have a break in the weather. I bought this fabulous jacket a couple of months ago and still haven't had the opportunity to rock it out. I am looking forward t a crisp day when I can throw it on... it is so pretty! And colorful- I normally don't wear too much color but this jacket was irresistible to the senses. I longingly look at it in the closet almost everyday.

I have a couple of key items to pick up tomorrow and then the shopping is officially done, even if it isn't. There is no way I am stepping foot in the mall this weekend. To my embarrassment and disappointment I would have to resign myself to gift cards. Hiss, The awful GC, I know. But sometime you just have to throw your chips in and take the loss.

As much as I would love to continue to ramble, a new book is calling my attention. Good night and a happy Friday to all. Hopefully it turns 5 o'clock before you know and the weekend fun kicks in!

Love and light!

Christmas on the Intracoastal

What do Floridians do to prepare for the upcoming holidays? We don't shovel snow! And we certainly don't pull out the parka's! Instead we go caroling with a hot toddie (or a cold beer) on the high seas..... tradionally, a group of us jump on the boat and watch the beautifully decorated and extremely lit boat parade putting across the calm seas. The event always sparks a festive mood! Now if I could just finish up my shopping all would be well!
Fa La La La La La La La!

Surprise...surprise

There is nothing I love more than a package waiting for me at the door when I get home. (For the record- there are things I love more, for instance a hot towel right out of the dryer, a crisp sunny day, being out on the boat, fresh baked, soft chocolate chip cookies, and of course beautiful shoes!) I don't shop on-line very often so receiving a package from the postman is a pretty big deal in my house. There is the excitement of tearing the box open to see what is in inside and the anxiety of whether or not I will like what I ordered. Usually what I liked a week ago isn't so high on my liking list a week later. Anyway, this weekend we are celebrating our sixth wedding anniversary. I decided I would buy myself something just in case my significant other didn't. I am only looking out for him in this regard by making sure I have something I like and want. Honestly, it was just an excuse to buy the bracelet I have been eyeing for a couple of months. So, I ordered this fabulous bauble from EnergyMuse. The manifestation bracelet just seemed fitting. And I totally love it. This really isn't the time of year to be gifting for oneself but you'll see my strange, obscure rationalization above. The site says this about the piece:

All of us are born with potential. Reaching that potential is the greatest gift we can give back to the Universe. The Manifestation bracelet was created to support that journey.

I really need to finish up my holiday shopping. I have a couple of individuals who are stumping me. That is one of the reasons I typically don't like Christmas. We put so much stress and pressure on ourselves to make it perfect. Just that one time of the year, the stars must be perfectly aligned. And the commercial aspect of people just buying things for the sake of buying them really turns me off on the holidays. There are things I love about Christmas. I love seeing Christmas lights. I love sugar cookies made only the way my mom makes there with her signature lemon sugar icing. I love wrapping presents and making them look beautiful. In fact, the people I am stumped on just may end up getting a spectacularly wrapped box with nothing inside. Just a pretty box! I love the cool nights of December in Florida. It is cool enough to go and enjoy the weather but not so cold you don't want to be outside. So, I guess I am not a complete Ba Hum Bug! Back to my trials and tribulations currently scouring for the perfect gift...the weird thing is that I love to give presents especially when I know I have found the "perfect" gift. It needs to have the right sentiment. It needs to be personal. I will shop throughout the year and put items aways with particular people in mind. In fact, sometimes I forget what I have bought and have a fantastic surprise when I pull everything out to wrap. Sometimes, I am lucky enough to end up with an extra gift for myself!

If all the difficulties were known at the outset of a long journey, most of us would never start out.

-Dan Rather

Things may be looking up!

I have to admit...

I am a french fry toucher. I have a couple of food fetishes and one of my wackiest ones is that I always "feel" my french fries before I pop them in my mouth. I know this sounds strange. But I feel like the weight of the world has been lifted from my shoulder by confessing this odd behaviour. Here's the deal: I don't like mushy anything especially french fries. I don't even like fried food but given the fact that the potato slivers are called "french FRY" it just insinuates crunchy, firm, solid, and slightly hollow. It does not mean, soggy, oily, moist, or flimsy. My test method is simple. Pointer finger gently presses the meatiest portion of the fry and waits to see the reaction of the cooked carb. This is a hard habit to break when out with friends who have yet to encounter the "touching" spectacle. And I must add that I won't start to man handle anyone else's fries, poking around on someone else's plate uninvited....unless of course we are on a first name basis and you are comfortable with the process. Needless to say, very few french fries actually pass the test and so it really isn't too much of a problem for my waistline. It's kinda it's own weird diet. My food issues don't stop with french fries. I don't eat bread. And this is not because of any "non-white" diet food item. I just don't like bread. Bread baskets at dinner do nothing for me except clutter the table. If I was going to eat bread it must not be soggy. That means that I have a time limit on when I can eat a sandwich if there were any condiments on it i.e. mayonnaise, oil and vinegar, mustard. I am always racing the clock and fighting the wetness factor of the bread. I get completely freaked out when foods unintentionally touch each other. It's not that I can't mix food but I have limits as to what can and the conditions must be appropriate. I especially have a problem if something salty touches something sweet. I don't like liquids from the meal to be on my plate. There have been occasions when I have had to wipe my plate free from liquid. If I totally hate the food on the plate it needs to be removed quickly. For instance, if they bring a pickle on the plate (I am a finicky pickle eater) then I need to place it on someone else's plate or at least a napkin if I am not going to eat it. I like my food either hot or cold but nowhere in between. When food is ready I believe it should be eaten, then with no delay. I don't gally-lag around the kitchen. I sit down and eat. I have no idea where all these strange issues came from. My parents are completely normal and did not instill this in me. I am very lucky that loved ones and friends understand and accept my odd food behavior. I am discreet with my food fetishes. I never make a scene or display bad behaviour in public. Most important and in terms of the future, I am hopeful that my daughter will not learn these bad habits from me. I know the cycle needs to be broken. I acknowledge that once Mattine arrives I will be so busy with her and our new life I will be elated to eat a soggy french fry. Hopefully it will be the match stick kind- much less chance of finding a flimsy fry!

Leaving Orlando!

I went to visit my BFF (so high school but I love it) today in Orlando and we had a fantastic afternoon. The perfect day included a cool but crisp afternoon, coffee, yummy lunch, engaging and humorous conversation (nobody gets me like she does!), and of course her beautiful children. We have been friends for so long and have gone through so much together........stopping at red lights, sneaking over the railings, are you coming up for air?, cleaning whitewalls leaving no evidence of our activity, the many firsts of so many things, FIRE WOMAN at the top of our lungs, BK lounge, Flagler atrocities, and then real life.......... I couldn't imagine not having her in my life and I can't wait for her and her family to meet Mattine. Anyway, when I was leaving her town, Orlando, I followed my trusty navigation unit. She (navigation unit) has a British accent and is very annoying. She occasionally repeats herself. Hate that! Anyway, sometimes she likes to take the long way and if you avoid her directions she will re-calculate and then in an agreeing manner (still British wanting tea and scones tone) she will get you back on track. Well, today I got turned around. Of course, she made matters worse and I knew she was trying to send me the long way so I avoided her. Needless to say, we both ended up lost. Funny thing is that she (British navigation unit) doesn't know anything about CLOSED on-ramps. Every time she tried to send me a new way we got even more lost. What's worse? Know when you can see the interstate but just can't get there? I mean, you are close but the unobtainable carrot is just dangling in front of you- all roads are closed, all exits lead away from the ramp. That is how I felt today. Such a defeating feeling. However, I had an idea this may happen. And left myself a thirty minute window. I knew I would escape but it might take me a little while. Anyone who has tried to leave the ferocious vacation city of Orlando knows how tricky the feat can be. In my opinion, only one other city ranks up there with Orlando and that is Atlanta (a city I have had the pleasure and pain of having called a residence). In fact, I think it is a conspiracy that the developers of Orlando made the roads so that once you made it Disney World you wouldn't be able to leave. Mickey sneers and smirks from I-4 taunting you, challenging you to find the road out! Well, I made it. No thanks to British direction girl or Mickey but my own directional tenacity. I did the driver victory dance. Funny thing is that at one point, while lost in Downtown Church Street Station vicinity, a friend who I was on the phone with, suggested I call my husband to get me out of the mess. I found this thought hysterical and preposterous. How on Earth was my husband two hundred miles away going to figure out where the hell I was and then figure out how to get me home when I couldn't even figure it out. And I surely wasn't going to call my BFF. She would be rolling on the ground laughing that I couldn't find my way out of a paper bag- that's for sure. Good news, I got out of town with a couple of minutes to spare!

CNN Video About Vietnamese Adoption

For those of you who have not seen the video, it is a good synopsis or example of the current situation regarding our adoption . Please be patient and stay tuned after the small commercial interlude. Here is the link.

General Update

I have made it a habit the last couple of weeks to hit the beach almost every day if not every day. It has been really good for me. It helps with clearing my head. Not to mention, I can listen to my i-pod as loud as I want and nobody knows the difference. I took this picture last Sunday and it just reminds me of how life ebbs and flows. Sometimes you are floating freely in the high tide and others you are stranded at low tide. It is just the path you are on. A friend recently sent an e-mail and reminded me that it is about enjoying the ride, not the end of the journey. I know that. It is posted on the side of my blog. But in this crazy process I had lost that. I am so glad she reminded me. It was like someone slapped me upside the head. Who doesn't occasionally need one of those? One of the girls on a group I participate in said it so profoundly this evening, "of all the things I have lost (in the adoption process), it's my mind I miss the most." That is exactly it. You get so close to the flame you forget to pull you hand back. That is why I am posting tonight. It is time to get back to the basics. Time to reclaim the life I had prior to the adoption. I know Mattine will come. And unfortunately nothing I can do will really speed that up. That is why I am going to focus of finding and enjoying the ride again!

And as a side note, those weren't my legs in the prior post. But thanks for the comments and e-mails admiring the shapeliness of "my" legs. I really want to take the credit but to my chagrin I can't. I am still suffering from my left-over Halloween snack-sized candy! Okay, not suffering but thoroughly enjoying!

So, I have to admit I haven't been a very good blogger lately. I guess I just feel like if I don't have anything compelling or earth-shattering in importance than maybe I shouldn't say anything at all. But I should write on the site. It is very cathartic for me not to mention I am sure I have a loyal following who are craving a new post. I apologize in advance for the erratic form this post will follow.

On the adoption front, which I am sure , is your primary concern- we have no news. Not much has changed, where in lies the issue. Due to the new immigration procedure when we receive approval prior to departure for Vietnam, there have been some serious and unfortunate delays. In the long run, the changes will be good for Vietnamese adoption and should end most of the corruption in the system. We unfortunately got swept up in the period of change. We are hopeful that our paperwork will be compiled and checked and translated and stamped and sent shortly and that perhaps by a miracle we may travel by March. Mattine would be eight months old. We can't get to her soon enough. That is why my heart aches. She deserves more. I am attaching two (1) (2) links of articles which recount some of the new changes, the difficulties, and the poor families stuck in the middle. I don't know what else to say.

My best friend is in the process of getting her new business off the ground. I am trying to create some hype here. All I can say is that she is a very talented and smart woman who I know will kick butt in this new endeavor of hers. I should have the splendid details together by next week. And I must say I am totally psyched for her.

Another friend of mine has built a site, Mannpill, which I think everyone should check out. WARNING! Now before you hit the link please let me advise you that the site is extremely sexist- thus, the name Mannpill. To quote the site, "Mannpill.com is a site dedicated to providing exciting and relevant content to men. We offer men open and candid opinions and advice, that is useful, practical and entertaining. Mannpill.com focuses on issues regarding sports, gadgets, entertainment, women, politics, style, pop culture and food." There is a little too much sports and female form for my taste but I applaud him on the undertaking and extreme success of the site to date. Some of the articles are very interesting and deserve a read especially if you know me and think I may have written one or two of them. Not that I did, but just in case. As for the sexism on the site, well- I say if you can't beat them at least know what they are saying about you. Knowledge is power, right ladies? Besides, I think most men really need all the help they can get!

It is still hot as hell here in Florida. Normally by now we have some sort of reprieve - but no such luck. The humidity has passed- at least most days are good hair days. But what I wouldn't give for some cool, crisp air. I think that would make it more believable that the holidays are approaching. This weekend is the boat parade so that should add to the festive mood. I will post pictures the beginning of next week.

I started the post with pictures of my puppies. You know regardless of what is going on in my life my two four-legged friends are always there with a wag of a tale and a cold nose. Clewiston and Jackson Brown always make me laugh. They are completely accepting regardless of my mood or attire. Even when I am late getting home they are happy to see me- no questions asked. They seem to want to climb up next to me on the couch when they know I need it the most. Their crazy antics occasionally have me slightly stressed but it is in all good fun. They are so simple and happy. Not a care in the world. I don't know what I would do without them.

Have a good night all and know that we are all in this big picture together.

Happy thought for the day...........

This to will pass.

When?

Happy Thanksgiving

A couple posts back I wrote about gratitude. I was preparing for Thanksgiving and reflecting on what the holiday means to me. Thanksgiving, actually this whole time of the year, is not one of my favorite holidays. I am a total Scrooge when it comes to Christmas and I feel like tomorrow is the start of the season's madness. I don't really want to digress on Christmas right now for I am saving that nugget of a post for December. I do, however, want to stress that even if I am not fond of this holiday I do value this holiday for two important reasons. First and foremost it is the coming together of friends and family. It is a day to sit and break bread with those we love and cherish. A day to be gentle with our words. A day to join hands around the table. A day to give. And that leads me into the second reason I like Thanksgiving. The day reminds me that there have been times in my life when someone helped me out. Even the most competent among us sometimes needs a hand from someone else. Tomorrow (for at least one day during the year) is a day when one should recognize, in John Donne's words that "no man is an island entire of itself". Some of what I have, I owe to other people. It reminds me to give something back -- even if it is to someone else. I realize Thanksgiving is an American holiday. Most of us can afford to purchase more food than our family could possibly eat. That is not the case, everywhere in the world. Chances are, that is not the case everywhere in your town or city. Get involved. Do something to give back to your community, your world- where ever that be. Start with this, FreeRice. While testing your vocabulary (I scored extraordinarily high- go figure?) you are also participating in the act of ending hunger. For each word you get get right, FreeRice donates ten grains of rice through the UN with the goal of reducing hunger. And we all need to increase our vocabulary- a word a day? Perhaps even greater is the investment your donated rice makes in hungry human beings, enabling them to function and be productive. Somewhere in the world, a person is eating rice that you helped provide. What are you waiting for?

Sunday afternoon with my shadow and Jackson....

Jackson hates getting a bath. So, strange that a lab wouldn't love the water. Our black lab, Clewiston, can't get enough of the water. That is why she is absent from all these pictures. She was having a ball with the hose. So, Jackson and I chilled waiting for the water excitement to come to a conclusion. Strangest thing, my shadow also came out to play. And one of our fruit trees is filled with orchids which happens to be blooming. It was a beautiful afternoon. No word on the adoption. Things are quiet. We are still waiting for the necessary paperwork to send our I-600. There is at least one batch of families ahead of us. I am working on the attribute of patience. Some days I have it conquered and others I am flattened by the lack of it. I am trying to get life back to some sense of normalcy, if that is even possible. It feels like we were so close to having Mattine home for the holidays. Next year for sure, I know. We had a fantastic baby shower (a second one) a couple of weeks ago. I promise I will get those photo's uploaded and share the perfect day. Right now I am side-tracked with so many thoughts of our daughter. I wonder how much she has grown? I wonder if she has a crib mate? I wonder what she looks at everyday. I hope that someone is holding her tight and telling her how spectacular she is. I hope she knows half way around the world we are thinking and dreaming of her. I hope she knows how blessed her parents are to have such a gift.

Here comes the sun.............

This beautiful rainbow was outside the door today as I left for work. It was actually a double rainbow which was amazing to see. The picture really doesn't do it justice. But, happy Friday anyway!

Gratitude

"At times our own light goes out and is rekindled by a spark from another person. Each of us has cause to think with deep gratitude of those who have lighted the flame within us."-Albert Schweitzer

A friend recently posted about Thanksgiving and it got me thinking about gratitude. What does it mean to me? In my humble opinion, gratitude is the state or feeling of being thankful for some action or some person. Occasionally, the sense of indebtedness accompanies the feeling of thankfulness but I am not addressing that feeling here. I am discussing the pure feeling of being thankful, being happy and content. The last year has been difficult and challenging for numerous reasons, and not all adoption related. During this time I have been surrounded by several individuals, family and friends, who have unselfishly offered their sense of humor, companionship, and wisdom to me. They offered small acts of kindness or they were gentle in their approach. Sometimes, the greatest gift they gave was to accept and understand that things were tough. No questions asked and no response from me required. I guess they saw that the light in me was dim and did what they could to fan the flame. For this, I say thank you.

When looking up gratitude on Wikipedia, the excerpt adds, "From a Buddhist point of view, the Pali word which we translate in English as gratitude is katannuta. The word katannuta consists of two parts: kata which means that which has been done, especially that which has been done to one, to oneself, and annuta which means knowing or recognising. So katannuta means knowing or recognizing what has been done to one, that is to say knowing and recognising what has been done to one for one's benefit. Hence the connotation of the Pali word is rather different from its English equivalent. The connotation of the English gratitude is rather more emotional (we feel gratitude, feel grateful, etc.) but the connotation of katannuta is rather more intellectual, more cognitive. It makes it clear that what we call gratitude involves an element of knowledge - knowledge of what has been done to us or for us for our benefit. If we do not know that something has benefited us, we will not feel gratitude."

I know and acknowledge what has been thoughtfully done for me. I know I have benefited from these acts of kindness. There is a quote by Buddha that says, "Let us rise up and be thankful, for if we didn't learn a lot today, at least we learned a little, and if we didn't learn a little, at least we didn't get sick, and if we got sick, at least we didn't die; so, let us all be thankful." Isn't that funny? So, I guess I have another day! I am filled with gratitude.

Today.....was just ducky!

How many times today I was asked about our adoption?

Five.

How many times today I put a smile on my face when I didn't want to?

Three but I work with the public so it is part of my day. Some days it is more than that and somedays it is less.

How many times did I re-play a song (John Legend's Show Me) in my car as loud as possible?

Ten. (at least!!!!)

How much time I spent at the beach today?

15 minutes.....I wish I had stayed longer.


How many times today I felt grateful?

Lots.

How many time today I laughed at myself?

One. Way too embarrassing to tell but I wasn't the only person laughing at me.

How many Hershey bars I ate today?

A third of one. That is unheard for me. I think I may be feeling under the weather. One of my clients did mention there was a bug going around? I hope I am not sick.


How many times today I truly and honestly smiled?

Too many too count!


How many times today I wondered if my case worker would send us new pictures of our daughter unexpectedly?

All day.

Please read this .....

I don't usually post this often and I certainly do not make it a habit to use words of another to convey my feelings but I read this post about the current situation concerning adoption in Vietnam and I think it is well written and deserves a read. Here is the link to the article. I do not agree with all that is said but being that I have not been able to adequately put down in my own words either what the current situation is in Vietnam or how I feel about it I think this will more than suffice.

I wish I would have thought of this.......

I found this blog the other day and it has caused me a great deal of reflection. I am all about lists especially to-do lists. After watching the trailer for the book I had a feeling of validation, there are others like myself stuck in the world of the LIST. My lists keep me accountable for my thoughts and for my tasks. My lists keep me on track. Sometimes, they are simple errand reminders like "pick up dry cleaning", sometimes they are things like "write endearing note to dear friend", or reminding me to "go to the studio and work out" or even sometimes reminding me to "eat" or "sleep". It isn't that I would forget to do these items but I can be easily distracted. I can be thrown off course. I like my lists neat and orderly, like my life. Everything has a place. The lists will get re-written once there are considerable cross-throughs and items typically stay on the list until they are accomplished. Now, I do make exception to this last rule. If the thought or task has been on the list for a while and I just can't commit then the item is removed until I can. For instance, "cleaning my closet" was on the list for a really long time. I could not bring myself to the threshold of the mirrored sliding doors until recently. In that case, the item will be removed and filed in my little brain until my hands or brain can wrap around the task and own it placing it back on paper. Who needs a red, blinking panic button on their list of things to do? My list isn't always tasks, as I mentioned. There are random thoughts or ideas on the paper. Sometimes there are just words I like and want to make a part of my vocabulary. I occasionally write my lists cryptically. The best part of the lists is that I have looked back over older lists and not been able to make sense of them. Isn't that odd? There are days that I live and die by my list. Days that are judged by the accomplishment off the list. There are days I can't find my list and I have to write a new one. But most importantly there are even days I don't follow my list and that is okay. I also make these extensive travel itinerary lists, not just packing lists like the ordinary fellow. I, in painful detail, jot down the specifics of a trip we are about to make - the who, the what, the where. I think it my way of remembering and savoring the details. Sasha Cagen, the author of the book, To-Do List- From Buying Milk To Finding a Soul Mate, What Our Lists Reveal About Us, sat with friends and they collectively wrote their five year list. They wrote the list for themselves and for each other. What would be on your list? What is on your list for today? What does that say about you?

Think before you jump.....

A couple of years ago we traveled to Costa Rica and on one of our excursions I learned a VERY important lesson- think before you jump. We had spent the morning full- throttle four-wheeling the back roads of a small town covered in mud and splashing puddles. The scenery was beautiful and about to get even more spectacular. Our guide led us on a climb to a remote waterfall and once we reached the top he said, "Okay, let's jump!" Are you familiar with the screeching stop noise that happens in comic movies when things are proceeding fabulously and all of a sudden the character realizes the situation in front of him- insert me. Small important detail.... I am deathly afraid of heights. Now, those close to me know that I try to fight this fear every chance I get and that I usually need some time to process the "leap" in front of me. Given time I never walk from the challenge even if it means my eyes are closed. One last thing to rememeber, I would never consider jumping off a perfectly stable rock clinging to rope in order to cool down in the water but since that was what was asked of me- I went for it. Why not? But, I should have stayed to hear the instructions? Because then I would have understood that one should hold onto the knotted section of the rope before completely endangering one's life over the rocks below. Needless to say, I un-gracefully SLID down the rope hitting every knot with my now warped hand, just clearing the rocky landscape beneath me and keenly let go one I recovered my wits and decided I was better off without the rope. Have I mentioned yet that my middle finger was strangely crooked and dis-located? Well, did I also mention that my husband, who is always the optimist, the hall-full glass man, was with me? He said, "Oh, it's fine. You will survive. Nothing to do for a broken finger than to just let it heal." No sympathy, nada, none. So, we continued our day back roading around Costa Rica, right hand on the throttle. We later found a popsicle stick and taped up the finger and poured some rum to ease the pain. The next day with nasty finger and all, I completed the last of our aerial challenges and soared through the trees on a canopy tour. The reason for this tirade, looking back one should always think before you jump. And the pain in my finger reminds me constantly (especially on rainy days) that one should try their best to fully access the situation before they leap forward. At least make sure you understand the instructions and if you just jump- keep that faith that it will work out in the end. I did hit the water, so that was good!

So, what is for dinner?

Another friend spurred this commentary........I think one of the toughest issues facing couples (without any other issues??)........is "What is for dinner?" This statement drives me crazy. "I don't know, did you have any suggestions?" As much as I would like to believe it is all about me (before Mattine arrives, of course), technically there is one other individual involved in meal preparation. "What do you want", starts the dialog.............." I don't know what do you want?". Back and forth we go. A beautiful waltz of food choices. Luckily I am not the one who cooks in the family and although I am thrilled by this fact it causes a different stress altogether. I would cook but my work schedule demands that I work late so............ I vote that the one who cooks can decide what is for dinner. What an amazing amount of freedom, right? So, in the big scheme of things what does it really matter what's for dinner? The cook in the kitchen at my house always has something wonderful prepared and I am so grateful. I guess I am exploring a low point (adoption related) and just randomly venting. Aren't there bigger issues at hand in the world that need our attention ( i.e. global warming, the elections, children's rights, medical care reform, SAVING THE EARTH FROM OURSELVES?) Because, I will go for pizza every time! I am easy...........

The fun of Halloween

Out on the town ringing door bells for sweets! (identities have been protected!)

Clewiston (the best black lab in the world) as a wicked witch a couple of years ago.

I am taking my cue from a certain person I know and by request am jotting down some ideas I have about Halloween. First and foremost, it is important that the reader keep in mind how much I adore Halloween. "Adore" may be a strange choice of words for most but truly I love the day. I think my fondness has mostly to do with the kind gesture of passing out candy, especially chocolate, to complete stranger dressed in costumes. How is this not fun and amusing not to mention deliciously tasty? Usually at some point in October the the weather has cooled slightly or at least the unbearable humidity has dropped to an acceptable level. This being said, I normally enjoy a good hair month. (Definitely, a plus in my book not to have my hair sagging around my face.) Most people enjoy the turning of the leaves during October. In Florida the palms keep their healthy green glow year round so the kaleidoscope of color is something only seen in pictures. Overall, I just feel rather festive. Children seem happy (probably thinking about candy?) and the general public is warming to the idea of the approaching holidays. I feel like Halloween is the up-swing or turning-point of the year. And the best non-edible part about Halloween... one doesn't need an excuse to dress-up in a costume. When else during the year can one, as an adult, slip into a hot pink wig, go-go boots, a vinyl skirt, groovy attitude and head of to their day job at the office? Who doesn't want to just pretend for one day not to be themselves, to have the freedom to act like someone else or something else. What an excellent idea that we instill this in our children at a young, tender age that it is okay to dress up and play pretend. What we are today we may not be tomorrow. It is good for us adults to remember this, too. Sometimes, we all need to change it up a little. And best of all, we are rewarded with candy! One of the above pictures was taken a couple of years ago at one of our Halloween parties. Good friends of ours pulled off the concept of "less than middle-class living" and YES this is a costume! Trick or Treaters........have a frightfully fun night!

Honestly, I couldn't make this stuff up?

So, if you read the last couple of posts you would see that we are some place between excitement over our CFC (referral) and manic depression (NOIDS in Vietnam). One moment we are up and the next we are down- such is the case with international adoption. We are constantly reminded of our situation by those around us, "Remember, nothing in international adoption is concrete. Things are always changing." No kidding Captain Obvious, how could I forget? Well, the latest in our bag of goodies is that USCIS made an announcement between Tuesday and Thursday that the USCIS will now be asking that prospective adoptive parents file their I-600 prior to travel. This pre-approval may take up to approximately 60 days and then one has to wait for USCIS to send it back to the US before travel and then coordinate one's Giving and Receiving ceremony with Vietnam. The change in the system takes place within a week of the announcement. A week. There are many details and I am sure the kinks will get worked out. This effects all families adopting from Vietnam regardless of agency or province. We were probably fairly close to receiving our travel call. Needless to say and simply put, we will be delayed. We can only wait and hear from our agency as to the repercussions of this new plan. Going forward, this will be a good thing for families traveling and I am sure will make travel times shorter. It will also ensure that the child best interest's are protected and preserved. Unfortunately, this will most likely delay us until January or February. So........ we wait. I think a Caribbean island is calling our name?

A Baby Shower!

We had a baby shower this past weekend. It was a lot of fun especially seeing everyone's anticipation for the arrival of our daughter. She has already brought so much joy to our life and we haven't even placed her in our arms yet. Thank you for making the memory of a wonderful day!

My mom made the cake. The little girl on top matched the invitation.


Isn't she precious?

Julie looking over the Wish Book for Mattine's 100 Good Wish Quilt.


Peggy and Slater having a good time.

Overwhelmed by presents!

Slater was trying out the toys... just making sure Mattine would approve.

Good times were abundant.

Aunt Kristen threw the shower. She didn't miss a single detail. It was a perfect afternoon.

Me and my mom. We are so excited for Mattine's arrival!

A post I have not wanted to write.....

For those of you in the adoption community, whether that be domestic or international, we are given tickets on this tumultuous roller coaster ride and while we constantly check the harness to make sure it is securely fastened we know that at some point in the ride it will be bumpy. We hope to not be thrown off the ride at any point or to be suspended up-side down for any period of time but the we read read the warnings before climbing on. The last couple of weeks have been turbulent concerning adoptions from our little girl's orphanage in Vietnam. There have been families who have had to return home without their children. There have been numerous rumors. There are countless unknowns. Our future as a family hinges on the next couple of weeks and how matters resolve. We are heart broken for the families involved and we are at a loss of words for what this means for us. Perhaps, it means only a delay and perhaps it means more than we are willing to acknowledge right now. I read a post from a fellow blogger who, like the rest of us challenged with having a family, began to question how her and her husband would define themselves if they choose to not have children. My husband and I have had that conversation, a soul- searching , gut- wrenching conversation. Now that we have embraced the prospect of our family and we have attached to the pictures of our daughter I can not imagine life without her. I see books I want to read to her before she goes to bed at night. I envision her telling me about her day at school while I pack her lunch for the next day. I can not imagine not having her. So, I post this to say that we are troubled right now because at best we may be delayed. And most important I post this to say there are families out there hurting and grieving. Let's try and be understanding and supportive even though we really can not imagine their burden. Lastly, we appreciate your warm thoughts and positive energy. When we know something more.........

Snack-sized Halloween Candy

So, what is the scariest thing about Halloween? Well, in my humble and chocolate addicted opinion it is snack-sized candy. It probably wouldn't be so bad if the candy manufactures and holiday promoters wouldn't start prepping us for the end of year holidays several months in advance. But, seeing that they make their bite sized morsels available practically in August I have fallen victim to being an early candy buyer for Halloween (what else is new?). We, as consumers will spend close to $2.1 BILLION dollars on Halloween candy. Honestly, I am one of those people who buy the candy they like at the beginning of October and annihilate the bag within days. Then, once I am thoroughly disgusted with myself and my ravenous chocolate habit I swear off the stuff until the day before Halloween when I but the cheap candy for the spooky children at the door. Yes, folks I am one of those cheap candy pushers. I save all the good candy for myself? Really, who doesn't? At least, I don't hand out pennies??? Working in the fitness industry I know those awfully delicious bite-sized candies that I wolfed down in a nano second are approximately fifty calories each. But, you know what the good news is? At least for the first couple of weeks in October I am not eating the full size candy bar! So, I guess the tiny treats aren't so bad after all..............

A little questionable news but a whole bunch of good pictures!

That's my girl!

She has perfect little feet for pretty little shoes!

Today we received a very unexpected surprise- new photo's of Mattine. She is beautiful and growing so fast! You can really see changes from CFC (Child for Consideration) photo we received almost a month ago. She looks very healthy and well-cared for which is an immense relief to us. Last night the internet went down (imagine that?) and I was absolutely frantic with thoughts that we would get pictures and not even know it. Receiving a new batch of pictures was just wishful thinking, but you never know? And sure enough, there was a wonderful surprise waiting for me today after work. Back to the internet, my husband can fix just about anything and sure enough he did his magical unplug and restart about a gillion times and I think he wiggled something too but regardless we had internet again. He is a true miracle worker because the cable company couldn't make it until Monday night- totally not acceptable for a blog junkie like myself. Oh, so back to the photo's. She is so sweet with chubby little cheeks that make your mouth water wanting to steal a nibble. Still no news on travel and that is where the possible bad news may come in. We may have a slight delay in travel. We will know more next week. Please send positive vibes our way as well as to the other waiting families and especially to any family who is "in" country currently finalizing their adoption.

As Goethe said,

"Difficulties increase the nearer we get to the goal."

Where are we?

We are here... just still taking in the fantastic news about our referral. I have felt very conflicted about blogging lately but I wanted to stop in and say "hello". I am a very task orientated individual and I always have a list of things to do at hand. Lately, I am just reminding myself to make a list of things that need to get done without actually completing anything. I am being so unproductive. This is a very strange time for me. I feel so unprepared for this next step in our journey. When you are in the process of adopting you spend all this time gathering forms and having things signed and notarized. You are stuck in a process. Then, you wait. An agonizing wait because you can't quite see the light at the end of the tunnel. And then you receive the best call in the world! And for most they slip into hyper-drive while I have slipped in neutral. Anyway, I am feeling like I am letting precious time fly away. Other adoptive parents always say that this part of the waiting is the hardest. It is but in a much different way. I am peace knowing that we have been matched to our child and knowing that the clock is ticking away and that soon we will meet her and start our family with her. But I am really at a loss as to what I should be doing now. A couple of amazing friends have planned a couple of showers for us and I am so looking forward to these events. Last weekend we went to visit my husband's mother who is 92. She still lives at home and has in-home care but she is doing awesome. I mean to wake up every day at 92 and just keep on going takes great spirit and immense mental fortitude. She is quite an inspiration. She has a boyfriend, he is just a couple of years younger than her and quite animated. He lives across the street and the only reason I mention this is because while we were visiting he came over to sit with us. He is so loving and full of admiration for my mother-in-law. He is constantly telling her how beautiful she is and how she is the love of his life. That is so amazing to see- genuine love and respect. It was a beautiful afternoon. SO, if you get a little out of sorts today just slow down a little and show someone you care about how much you love and respect them for being who they are. Oh, and laugh a little. Humor really makes things a lot easier. Before we left my mother-in-law's house, we placed a picture of the baby in a frame on the counter. Now, she had seen the picture all day and really hadn't commented on Mattine. I think she was still processing what we were telling her about the baby. As we turned to leave and as we told her we would bring our little girl to meet her grandmother she said, "she is a little butterball!" And granted in the picture our daughter looks like she has not missed a meal, the comment was so unexpected that we all cracked up laughing. AND then we knew she had "gotten" what we were there to tell her. Besides that, I am not really going anywhere in particular with this post other than to say- we are great. We are still here and counting the days. But we know nothing as to when we might hear travel news and we have no new updates on our baby girl. And I am still not getting anything accomplished on my "to-do lists". But we are so happy!

Our first care package

As luck would have it, we happened to get our referral just as a family with our same agency adopting from the same orphanage was leaving for Vietnam. The family had offered to bring care packages (thank you Wendy!!). The little pink power ranger shirt our little girl is wearing in her referral picture is rather worn and thin. I'm sure she doesn't care. But I want to send her some new, soft clothes from us. Finding infant clothes that are not onsies is very difficult. They don't use diapers in the orphanage, they only use shirts and pants. In my hunt for clothes (at the eleventh hour because I had to make the fed-ex the next morning) I found several pairs of pull-on pants and some little tops, a hat, some socks, and a soft blanket. The items get stuffed into a gallon ziploc bag so that they don't take up too much room for the family taking them. I wrote Mattine a note telling her that we loved her. At least, I hope that is what I wrote- it was late and I was having a hard time finding an on-line Vietnamese translator. Did I mention that we did this the night we received our referral call? I just couldn't think about sleep and wanted her to know how much she is already loved and how much more love there is to come. I hope she gets to wear the clothes or that a child in her orphanage gets to wear them.

A little schooling

This educational excerpt is from Wikipedia. Thái Nguyên Province is a province situated in mountainous and midland region of North Vietnam. Thái Nguyên is not a large province and accounts only 1.13% of the country's area and 1.41% of its population or approximately 1,095,400 individuals. The climate of Thái Nguyên has two clearly distinguished seasons: the rainy one from May to October and dry one from October to May. It rains most in August and least in January. Generally speaking, Thái Nguyên's climate is favourable for developing agriculture and forestry. And lastly, here is a little information about names in Vietnam. Vietnamese names generally consist of three parts: a family name, a middle name, and a given name, used in that order. Like their Chinese, Korean, Japanese, and other counterparts, this is in accordance to the East Asian system of personal names. The family name, positioned first, is passed on by the father to his children. It is estimated that there are around one hundred family names in common use, although some are far more common than others. The name Nguyen is estimated to be used by almost 40% of the Vietnamese population. In Vietnamese cultural practice, women almost always keep their family names once they marry, just as in other Eastern Asian cultures, including Chinese culture, to the north and northeast. The middle name, or more correctly, intercalary name is selected by parents from a fairly narrow range. In the past, almost all women had Thi as their middle name, and many men had Văn. The given name, or last name, is the primary form of address for Vietnamese. It is chosen by parents, and usually has a literal meaning in the Vietnamese language. For women, names often represent beauty, such as bird or flower names. For men, names often reflect attributes and characteristics that the parents want in their child, such as modesty.
Typically, Vietnamese will be addressed with their given name, even in formal situations, although an honorific equivalent to "Mr.", "Mrs.", etc. will be added when necessary. This contrasts with the situation in many other cultures, where the family name is used in formal situations.

Today is the day.......

This morning around 10:30 we were pleased to find out that we had become proud parents to a beautiful little girl in north Vietnam. She is perfect. She has stolen our hearts. Her name is Mattine. We are hoping to travel soon. We are elated and so thankful that we get to share this experience with friends and family around us.

We received a very profound e-mail from a friend, "Sept 11th is a day that we truly realize how precious life is. What a perfect day for this news!" We couldn't agree more and are humbled by this day.

With peace and joy in our hearts.......

We got a gift today!

This is so exciting because we really haven't gotten any gifts yet for Mattine. Don't get me wrong we have received tons of fabrics for her quilt which have been amazing to open and have kept me very busy BUT an actual gift for our little one with her name on it. And of course, I have picked up a few items on sale that would have been a crime to leave behind at the store but other than that.... What a great surprise! This is from my best friend and her family. I just love it and I have already placed it in her dresser with everything we are taking with us to Vietnam. It has been a wonderful day going to the mailbox- very few bills and a present!

Names have been changed to protect the innocent....

The following is an excerpt from a Vietnam adoption website that I follow. I haven't stopped laughing since (although it is not entirely funny but still very profound) and I hope nobody minds that I repeated it and of course changed the names so that identities will be protected. It goes to show the lack of sensitivity for adoptive parents and their children. I know humor goes a long way in getting through difficult situations and this could not have come at a better time. Well-said fellow PAP!

"Let me start by saying I’m not one usually to get on a soap box but, my step mother convinced me to sign up with several of the formula companies so I could receive their coupons. I am getting really irritated with them telling me where I should be at in my pregnancy each month, and/or offering me a coupon to get the free gift bag when I deliver at the hospital. I have emailed a few of them explaining that I feel there advertising and marketing is discriminatory and offensive, because they make no effort to differentiate and market to adoptive parents. One company sent me an email in response directing me to a remote section of their website that discusses adoption, but yet I still receive weekly and monthly emails about my supposed progress in my pregnancy. Anyone else frustrated by this?

The following is an excerpt from what I received and my suggested change to it:

As received:

Hi Pregnant Female (insert name),
You're almost there! Your baby now weighs about 7 pounds and now has about 300 bones in her body, some of which fuse together in her first few years of life. Read more about Week 39.

Should read:

Hi Prospective Adoptive Parent (PAP),

You’re almost there! You’re paperwork now weighs about 7 pounds and now has about 300 signatures, notarizations and authentications in your completed dossier. You’re baby is probably celebrating her first few weeks of life.

Almost September

hELLO, FABULOUS people! I was hoping we would have some news to share by now but unfortunately that just isn't in the cards yet. We are still so excited and remain hopeful that "the call" will come shortly. What is that quote.... "If you can't see the bright side of life, polish the dull side." SO.....I have been keeping myself busy maintaining Mattine's wish book, the book of wishes which correspond to the fabrics for her quilt. I am a regular at Michael's craft store and I am actually getting hooked on the whole scrap booking past time. It is a little pricey and very addicting. Everyone tells me I should enjoy it while I can because once our little bundle of joy comes home I will beyond busy. And I say, bring it on........Have a fabulous Labor Day everyone! (I will be cropping and pasting away!)

Build it and she will come!

What have we been up to lately?

Well, we just returned from a small getaway to Charleston, Asheville and Savannah. We had a really nice time, just relaxing and trying not to think about work and adoption issues. It was easier to accomplish this with the presence of our computer and internet access absent. For all the prospective adoptive parents (PAP's) out there, I hope I am not the only neurotic individual constantly checking my e-mail. And, I mean constantly! I am posting some pictures of the most beautiful scenery in Charleston. No word of referrals yet but the month is almost up and I am still hopeful that there will be families receiving splendid news. We may still be one of them? If not, our time will come soon. I was reading an article the other day about making a Life Book for Mattine. A Lifebook opens the door to simple conversations about your child’s adoption, and tells them their unique story in a loving and open way. Life books are also a way to promote trust and attachment. It is a way to archive photos and stories honoring who the child is, where they came from and how they joined their family. It is a great place to introduce adoption language and provides a safe place for the child to ask questions about their life. I am going to spend some time getting together the format I want to use laid out (digital scrapbooking) and it will be ready for when we can start adding information. Oh, and the best news lately? We had a huge delivery of fabrics the last two weeks. We received quite a few from very dear friends and then my sister placed a "call to arms" to all her friends and they really rallied behind us. We had a blast opening the package and reading the messages for Mattine. I think we are almost up to 75 swatches. I have some work to do on the quilt page and I will get to that this weekend. Until then, ciao! And cross fingers and toes for referrals!

G is for gecko!

My mom makes these amazing cakes and I just had to share this one......Mr. Gecko. He was made for a little boy's 5th birthday and what child wouldn't be thrilled to have this as their cake? The best part of her cakes is how amazing they taste. It is such a shame to cut into them but what awaits you on inside is so delicious it would be a crime not to cut it! The other cake pictures are some of my favorites including my sister's wedding cake (the white one with vibrant tropical flowers). Who would have known that you can make such beautiful creations from sugar?

I am in love.... with my new closet!

It is so beautiful. I can find everything and even things I didn't know I had. We had such a success with my closet that we have moved on to another room and now we have three more closets in the works. Talk about organized? The part I love the most is the sign my parents bought me a couple years back and my husband hung so that as I open the mirrored doors I am reminded that, "One shoe can change your life!"- Cinderella. Ladies, remember that saying the next time you see just the most perfect little "slippers" at the mall. Just one pair can change your life!

I want a beautiful closet........

So, here is a quick synopsis of the last week. I am trying to use my summer schedule (which is typically much slower than fall through winter) to organize the house. You know all the drawers and closets that go unattended and unsupervised all year long until you are frantically searching for the pinking scissors that you just know you have some place but can't figure out where? Or, the pantry which is packed full of food you didn't even realize that you bought........last year? (I have been know to re-cycle holiday candy assortment from one year to another. They don't expire, right? And everyone needs to re-cycle to help our planet!) So, I have made it through the kitchen and a couple of closets and various drawers in the house. I am saving my closet for last and if you saw it you would know why. It is a work of art to arrange that much in a such a small space. However, I think it needs to be done sooner than later due to the sagging clothing bar which is a day away from snapping and the house of shirts to come falling down. Does anyone really have closets that look like the ads? I am also working on our little one's room. It is painted. Well, it has been painted several colors but I think we will stick with this one. It is nice shade of sea foam blue with a twinge of green. Very spa-like and relaxing. Her window valances came in yesterday and I couldn't wait to get them ironed and hung. I think the only purchases for furniture we have to make for her room are the crib, a small rug, and perhaps a comfy sitting chair/glider. We have decided to wait to purchase the crib once we have our referral. Speaking of referrals, things have been eerily quiet the last couple of weeks which I think is a good sign. Surely, we will hear some good news soon even if it isn't our turn yet. What else.........we are getting caught up on our movies. The last couple of nights we had a "Godfather" marathon (nothing on tv during the summer). And I have follow-up plans for major Al Pacino and Robert DeNiro this weekend. Oh, and we have caught loads of bonita this summer on the boat. As we are battling to reel the fish in my husband always being the optimist says "but they sure are a good fighting fish" and then we drive to the local fish market for supper. Continue to have a glorious summer filled with lots of sunshine, friends, and family!